sleeve faces




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stagnancy

have we grown stagnant again?
i feel that we have spent our time arguing with the thoughts we used to have.  we have won because we realized our previous thoughts were wrong. with the win we have decided to change. but i feel our change is not so much a change, but a camp that we are all stationed at because it is comfortable. we are all there. we dont need to continue. 

you 
me 
all the friends

we are there

why should someone leave?
how could someone leave?
is there something i can say to everyone that will make them want to go on together?
what is that word?

we are stagnant.

we are okay with that, and thats the worst realization.

also.

we dont cry out for help.
everything is ok.
but it's not.
but it kindof is.
it's this mystery that we've tackled. 
we don't change.
we let things build up.
eat away.
because i feel we are not aware.

we are humans.
it is our nature to sin.
if everything was ok, then shouldn't we just be our old human self.
there has to be movement.
there has to be restraint.

i want your number

listen to booka shade's new single, here.

one of my favorite upbeat things on a rainy day.

being in it

watching There Will Be Blood last night had my mind thinking. i am not going to spoil any bit of the movie, so dont worry. my mind was going back in forth in a "i am liking this" to a "i am not liking this" way. the same thing happened when i saw I'm Not There the other week. i am too concerned on what my perception is of the movie instead of actually enjoying it as a firsthand thing. 

maybe it is the blogging, and knowing that if i like or do not like what i am watching, i will want to tell people. maybe i want my opinion before i really can justify it.

maybe it is this quick comment someone said at our small group the other night. she said that it is like being on vacation in a great place and saying "this is going to be one of my favorite places" and you get so rolled up in that thought that you really dont enjoy it while being there. 

maybe we shouldn't love things or dislike things until we are done witnessing things. i, for one, have too many opinions before it all settles. 

once again, this might not make sense to anyone.

bon iver




chills.
maybe my new favorite album from 2007.

barak logobama



go here and look at all the variations of obama's logo as it takes into consideration many groups of people of america. 

jumped.

i jumped.
i never do that.
i am learning that it is necessary.
things can't be handed to me.
i need to pursue things on my own.
i jumped.
i jumped.
i jumped.
and i feel warm.

juno
add this to my top twelve movies of the year.

atonement

add this to my top eleven movies of the year.

where i am at

yesterday i finished college. i finished the two classes i was told i needed to officially graduate. now it is in the hands of the administration to let all of the paperwork process that i paid them to do a few months back. i still get worried. i want this over so so so so bad.

in other news.

last night, sometime between midnight and 2am, dani and i were driving in a van over to what we know as "The Stalks". i guess you could say it is a local hangout / secret thing along the coast, near all these corn fields. but it takes patience to drive there as it is easy to get lost. we show up at the wrong spot, but it is nearby, so we decide to walk to the "point" (meanwhile it is so light out, like the middle of the day, weird). anyways, we walk over there and drew and jon are leaning against this fence railing thing. the fence is blocking them from a long, 400-500 foot drop along rocky coast and thrashing ocean. i freak out by staying away from the railing. i turn around and realize that the fence is broken and jon and drew are gone. dani and i get scared. we hear a faint "help" in the distance, knowing that they fell down into the rocky ocean / coast combo. dani and i agree they are probably dead, so we go back to our respective homes. sometime later that night jon appears and he has a cut on his head. he is ok with our choice for not helping. he said when they landed down below, there were two vans there waiting for them, and they strapped jon and drew to the top and drove them to their respective homes. i guess jon lives with me.

top two performances of 2008

january 20:
Freaks and Geeks Speak!
Reunion Panel and Q&A with original cast members Dave Gruber Allen (Jeff Rosso), Steve Bannos (Mr. Kowchevski), Linda Cardellini (Lindsay), John Francis Daly (Sam), Samm Levine (Neil), Busy Phillips (Kim Kelly), Martin Starr (Bill) and creator Paul Feig.
moderated by Patton Oswalt.
@ Cobbs Comedy Club

january 25:
upright citizen brigade: asssscat
with matt besser, ian roberts, matt walsh, rachel dratch and rob riggle. with guest monologist neil patrick harris.
@ the eureka theater

top ten performances of 2007 (that i witnessed)

ten is a lot. but i couldnt make coachella one concert. its the performances. so here are ten. in the order i saw them.

girl talk on january 12 at the independent in sf

video is from that actual show, look for me, i probably cant be seen

lo-fi-fnk / fujiya & miyagi on february 13 at the mezzanine in sf

went for fujiya & miyagi. was amazed by lo-fi-fnk. no longer cared about fujiya & miyagi

zack galifianakis / brian posehn / patton oswalt on april 27 at coachella

perfect way to start the weekend

lcd soundsystem on april 28 at coachella

i think i was standing somwhere near where this video was taken

the arcade fire on april 28 at coachella

you can probably see me somewhere in the crowd

grizzly bear on april 29 at coachella

i was surprised i could listen to mellow music on a 110 degree day

jose gonzales on april 29 at coachella

another relaxing time there.

teddybears on april 29 at coachella

i did not know anything about them before this, and this could be one of the best things i have ever seen. it was crazy. i was standing next to selma blair and andrew bird while watching them.

cocorosie on april 30 at the rio theater in santa cruz

kristin probably hated the show at this point. i loved it more than anything

last song they played. kristin liked it at this point

chromeo / flosstradamus on july 23 at the mezzanine in sf

being free helped a lot

top ten movies of 2007











edit: reign over me lost its spot to heima. sorry reign.

top ten of 2007


the cinematic orchestra: ma fleur
this album guides my drives and it guided my whole trip to europe. i kick myself for not going to see them at bimbos a few months ago.


animal collective: strawberry jam
the sequence of [For Reverend Green - Fireworks - #1 - Winter Wonderland] is so good.


the arcade fire: neon bible
one of my favorite bands sounding like one of my favorite singers.


cocorosie: the adventures of ghosthorse and stillborn
"I'ma shake you off though, get up on that horse and ride into the sunset, look back with no remorse"


andrew bird: armchair apocrypha
i physically rubbed shoulders with him


st. vincent: marry me
girls don't normally impress me as much as she does with this.


radiohead: in rainbows
i realized i listen to the song, nude, over 40 times


múm: go go smear the poison ivy
every year i need someone from iceland on this list


midlake: the trials of van occupanther
i was apprehensive at first, but it has totally redeemed itself marvelously


lcd soundsystem: sound of silver
everything in one. as cheesy as that sounds. it sounds so cheesy, but it is heartfelt

end of times

i forgot to update.
i was busy. or maybe i felt like not holding on to the comfort of a computer when i was away. i dont want to know. but i am.

the trip was great. ljubljana and bled in slovenia. budapest, hungary. london, hertfordshire and shropshire counties in england. and a sliver of wales.

here was my favorite moment.

the bridge in budapest. walking across from buda to pest around sunset, over the Danube. listening to "Into You" by the Cinematic Orchestra. it was at this point where i was thinking that if i kept stressing about my luggage i will not have fun. i want fun. the line from the song, "so much better here" lingering. i bridged my thoughts on the bridge. it was all metaphorical and beautiful. i took a deep breath at the end and said goodbye to comfort.

the wedding and reception was also pretty amazing. jon said everything. i cant add anything except my moment from above.

sj-sf-calgary-london-ljubljana

for about 20 hours we flew and bussed and walked and got yelled at by canadiens.
at one point my bag decided to be flown out on a different plane.
i still dont have it, nor do i know where it is at.
it snowed tonight in ljubljana, slovenija.
i liked it. we hiked at lake bled. we ate a traditional slovenijan dinner. we drank lasko beer. we had a great desert. i was given great birthday gifts.
ljubljana is great. like prague without the seediness. like amsterdam without the drugs and sex. the countryside is like switzerland without the cheese.
we saw the alps today with full snow and sassiness (no reason why i put that).
tomorrow we go to budapest. maybe ill get my bag. maybe ill wear the same clothes again.
all in all. i am happy. i want to move here to improve both the signage and the overall design of the city.

to

i always talk of the buildup. everything at once. the struggle for money. the stressful days of work. the paper that is due sooner than i had thought. all at once. i am pretty sure i have titled many blogs "culmination" or "all at once" many times. im in that one again. and as of right now i have not created a title for this.

but im excited:
to fly.
to listen to the cinematic orchestra and sigur ros everywhere. in every town.
to not work.
to see two great people get married to eachother.
to see the smiles of faces i havent seen in months.
to breathe in the brisk cold air.
to not sit in class.
to not worry about my car. or my money situation.
to be away from american culture.
to not be a stereotypical american to everyone.
to look inward and outward and not be blind.
to drink a good beer.

ill be back on the 25th.
ill try to post on here.

books with weight

in You Shall Know Our Velocity!, or the previously titled Sacrament, Will travels for a week with his friend Hand for one week. knowing that they will be on planes and some waiting time, Will brings with him the biography of Winston Churchill. the book is large so he rips out the pages that he had already read and he also takes out the last few 100 pages because that is stuff that is just weight that will not be fun to carry around. and he can read the remaining pages when he gets home.

i am trying to figure out my weight for my 11 day venture.
i will probably bring:
Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut
The Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen
an issue or two of Good magazine
an issue or two of Believer magazine

does anyone have any books they reccomend for my travels.

two things

first:


second:
i have been at orchard valley for a bit. watching a few people take money out of the atm. its not a slow atm. if you put it in perspective with how long it takes one to get money from their account at a bank. you can stay in the coffeeshop moneyless and walk to the other wall, get money, and not have to take this trip to the bank. yes it is convenient. but these people. three in a row. are impatient. they all sighed when their money was not dispensed upon hitting the "fast cash $40" button. they looked around as if someone woule relate with their sorrows here. and no one did, and tha frustrated them. it is a fast machine. i hate that instantaneus speed is necessary for people. i think its going to continually mess up our lives. we will all become more dependant on that. as for me. i will appreciate the slow.

oktoberfest


what time is everyone going to this?