cynic

i feel that everyone is looking for their thing. everyone wants to discover this thing. im guilty of it. and the more that i have been trying to stray from holding on to this thing to be mine, to be my reason, to be my find, my treasure, my good luck...i feel that it kills me to see people find it. maybe this goes along with me hating (extreme words choice) everything that everyone likes.

all i ask is contentment for everything.
i dont want to see movies or concerts or books and just assume that these things really didnt change peoples lives.
i hear those words all the time. i just dont know anything about them. or their hearts. or their intentions.

i really hate the fact that for two days now i am being fully cynical and selfish. or maybe im just aware of it. and i think this awareness is good. tell me when im dumb. these days are good days to hear those words.