on wanting to rethink and deconstruct by the end our day

last night six friends and i met up with adam, mark and lisa from reimagine up in san francisco. we went to gain some structure, to answer our questions, to create more questions and to learn. i went with no expectations really. i didnt want an agenda. but all in all i compiled some notes and i figured i would attack each point for you all. [this may easily be my first theology-ish blog]

the romance period is over
thinking about our group, we have been friends for many years. we are not an awkward group. and we have been trying some sort of intentionality for about a year. i feel that the romance is over. we are this married group. we cant always be dating and then in love and romance surrounds. there is a point where you break that down and become real. and this is where life is found. [this idea also had my mind wandering around all of the romanticism paintings that were popping up in my head, and i had forgotten how much i love them]

dealing with shit vs. falseness
in order to understand someone, you will need to know the whole self. and if we want to be intentional in each other's lifes we have to not accept falseness but we should accept the hurt and the brokenness and the shit that makes up our inner self. this is what needs work. not the brushing of the surface, or simplified to not the surface.

give? vs. inward
we always come at everything with selfish motivation. really when meeting (or through everything) we should ask ourselves "what can i give to this group?"

experience God in different ways at different times
our group is very mixed. everyone in the world is mixed. it will be very hard to get all of us on the same path, so we are all expecting different things that would help each of us, but sometimes that does not work out. we need to learn where each of us are at and look for progress and, in turn, celebrate each of our next steps

dualistic worship: going into a holy moment vs. living it out
everything is spiritual. making toast. swimming. singing. driving. laying in bed sickly. it is all spiritual. we dont go from our "real life" into "spiritual time". it is all the same. it is all interrelated. so many levels of interrelatedness. why have i not thought about this very much

we've already cultivated that part of life, some people need it
if i feel that i am good with a certain discipline (probably silence and solitude) try to teach others that. someone might be very good with something that i lack (reading the bible and holding on to that)

worshippers with hands raised. encourage them because it will lead them
i have this cynicism at times. i feel that people who raise hands in worship dont know what worship is. but in reality my cynicism towards them is farther from worship. we are on different paths. we have different motivations. we have different ways of doing different things. if we stop looking down at them (from our mindset), and embrace it, then things could be more significant

what am i holding back that keeps me from loving?
i think thats self explanitory and self exploratory

how to work through sin. what led to it. how to adjust for better.
dont focus on the goods and the bads of life. but examine what makes the bads. see what really goes into sinful action. is lack of rest causing restlessness which leads to stress and causing selfishness to spur. this is another idea that i have never thought about. i thought just praying for the sin to stop would be the key. but there is so much depth and reason for sin's existence that we really have to focus in on that.

early christians. heaven hell god satan christian.
growing up in the church our whole lives we are fed the key words to look for when reading the bible. lump things into categories. but that is the huge reason for us all going through our crazy deconstructions that we are enduring. western culture decided it was easier to categorize everything. even jesus was lumped into categories

practice things in short times
our group has huge hopes: garden, intentionality, becoming more green, spiritual formation, budgeting, meals together, serving together, and it goes on. and there is nothing wrong with that. i feel that we have tried to find the perfect balance with all of that. and that is not a realistic response. they challenged us to attack things maybe in short periods like a week or two, and see if it is successful at all. i would love to work on these.