this wouldve been in the fifth and final act


everything seemed so perfect, and i did nothing. and i need to be alright with that. it was out of a movie. it was exactly out of a movie. maybe moreso if there was rain or sweeping music. but it was out of a movie.

i hate being at the state where if i say one thing, i could be happy for a moment and then i would be mildy dissappointed for the following months. or i could say nothing and be dissappointed for a short while (now) and be happy with my decision in the end. all the time knowing that each word i say is important and almost life changing.

i learned way too much between the hours of midnight to 4:30 am.
my heart will yearn.
my mind will remember.
my downfalls will disappear.
my heart will become.
my life will change.

(sometimes metaphors do justice in my mind)