killing of time

deal with the footnotes. just pretend klosterman wrote this.

moving out last summer, mixed with not having television or internet made me appreciate life more. the influence may have come from the trip to europe that i had just been on and the idea that "i spent all this money to go here, and i am not going to waste time" [1]. so i would walk around campbell, ride my bike, become a part of the community instead of being a tenant of the city. one of my highlights still is walking into town with my laptop to do what i need to do on the internet. no surfing really. im not saying i am greater than that. its more of the thought that "i dont spend money at this coffeeshop and i just sit here and use their internet, let me get out of here as soon as i can".

i feel like ive been embracing life more, based around the fact that i dont feel like im wasting time.
maybe this could do with everything that i take on, all these roles i have put myself into[2].

but somehow i feel fully responsible [3] for people who dont enjoy life. i am also totally looking into this from my own perspective, assuming that everyone wants to not kill their days with video games/internets/televisions.

at the same time, life is amazing. im 24. a large chunk of my life has been used already. that gives me subtle motivation to do something. to go climb and run and see and hear and to experience.

it basically just kills me to walk through the library at school and see so many people sitting at their same computer each day [4] playing online poker. or kristin can attest to this one man whom i witnessed playing a few different online games all at the same time. there would be so much more to everything if these people were to actually play with other people in a real game, to verbalize, to laugh, to experience.

i feel like im just hitting the gamers.

i dont even know my motivation for this. i just get stressed out when people stay inside all day long. and it doesnt even concern me. its not my issue.

[1]: i did not view reading books or relaxing as wasting time. staying at the hostel/train station/airport/___________ would not compare to going out into the town whether it was to grab a drink/watch boats pass/go to a market/___________. the alternate was always better in my mind.
[2]: im not saying these roles are bad. i love all of them. i may have originally "taken" them because they were an escape from this evil killing of time.
[3]: slight exaggeration.
[4]: multiple times a day for some