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the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops
last night i walked from my car to my home, pouring rain, and it felt like the perfect way to close out the day. rain has the power to cleanse, rain has to power to (re)new [sorry kristin, i had to use that]. instantly the rain felt to me like i was in scotland again, with a big backpack on, walking from the glasgow central station up high street to mcclay's guest house, soaking wet, with no one to share the experience with.
after talking with a few people last night it seems as though everyone doesnt like to do anything in the rain (drive/shop/anything involving being outside). but when people are alone they enjoy being in the rain because of its sense of power.
i walked home slowly (i wouldve stood there, but i had some self concious issues) and it brought me back to the same "its me and you god" kind of scenario that i had in glasgow. i understand that the rain makes our clothes wet, and it makes it harder to drive, and it makes more people drink coffee, and it heightens the number of people slipping, but i love rain when we havent had it in a while. thats all im getting at.
murderer
the song, Murderer, by Low might be one of the best songs i have ever heard.
taking some sort of initiative
im happy because our community group started last night. all day i was nervous that there would be, at any moment, that awkward silence, with people looking at me for guidance. i became a leader because i wanted a group. leadership and i dont really go hand in hand. i was expecting an array of people, and it was nice seeing 8 or 9 friends praying and talking and longing to learn more. everyone had this sense of excitement at the end. im excited to see where this thing goes.
also, christmas at starbucks consists of bing crosby, rufus wainwright and the decemberists. i can tell some guy up at the hearmusic office really is pushing that crane wife album.
expect by next week my top 10 albums of 2006 and my top 10 concerts of 2006.
united states of newmerica
maybe there is a soft spot inside of me for all things english.
i was thinking about the pilgrims and all the settlers of usa, and how they left england. many by their own choices. in their minds they were saying "this land is good, lets name it new england" or "this place reminds me of York so lets name this place New York" or (even in the west) "this part of the country will be called New Mexico" or (more local) "this beach is very similar to Brighton Beach, lets name it New Brighton"
whats with the incessant use of the word new. if we came here to start over (new) we should just start with a blank slate.
in other news:
i get so pumped when Why? is playing.
understanding my moneystanding
i love the fact that i have no money now. that is kindof an overstatement i guess. but i like it. i love that i am at this point in my life where i can save up and then spend it all for a 3 week jaunt in some random place. or i can spend it all to enjoy three days in the extreme heat of a desert in southern california at the end of april.
i feel this huge sense of comfort knowing that i have my 2 final college classes lined up. or i should just say my 2 final classes. ever. unless there is some extreme thing that i dont know about. but i like to think comforting thoughts. for my two classes i have Modern Film, and Architectural Forum. neither class will help me with my graphic design portfolio. but i do only have to be at school on monday night and wednesday morning.
from hawaiian shirts to cacti
i was thinking about getting some plants for out place. i first thought about flowers and then i decided against them because of their lacking in the timeline. then i thought about plants that would last. cactus. but then i realized that you dont need to water them. so in reality you buy them and you do nothing with them except enjoy their prescence as they sit and dont do anything except cause spiderwebs and pricks to the finger. i began to associate owning cacti with being lazy. 2 childhood friends had cacti in their homes. both homes were dark/dreary/unloved (its very extreme that i say that)/unkept/.......lazy.
in other news
trentemoller
why is stuff like this so good?
movie tone
in a response to this, i think i might have to face the same thing as before. o well.
in other news i am happy for the sharks. i am sure they are happy too. i think us sharks bloggers: rob, shannon, tim, morgan and i should go to a game and we will live blog about each play. ill take care of the left wing that is on the ice, morgan takes defense, shannon takes goalie, tim takes right wing, and rob takes center. ok?
estimations
5 years
multiplied by 25 hours a week (assumed)
is 6500 hours that i have given to starbucks.
in that time i have:
seen one customer get married and divorced
seen one customer give birth to three kids
seen many customers get married
seen many customers date eachother
seen many customers date employees
worked under 5 district managers
worked under 4 store managers
had over 25 assistant managers
called the police about 20 times
kicked out about 6 people
kicked out one guy twice
gotten time off to go to china, europe (twice), hawaii, mexico, and many smaller trips
worked with over 100 people
seen about 6 employees come back to the store after a long absence
changed churches
changed housing
changed schools
gotten about 8 haircuts
gotten a new car
(and put 52000 miles on it)
stayed in the same building.
behind the same counter.
looking at the same cracks in the wall.
seeing the same faces.
but there is still this degree of "fake".
like.
i know you so well because i can make your latte.
and.
you know me so well because i can make your latte.
but.
we've done this for so long.
and.
i made a mild attempt by asking your name.
but.
that was the end, 1 year ago.
or.
that was the end, 2 years ago.
or.
that was the end, 3 years ago.
or.
that was the end, 4 years ago.
or.
that was the end, 5 years ago.
but.
i feel that giving my name out is a sign of trust.
or a sign of truth.
like.
the fact that you care about my name shows me that you care.
and.
the fact that i know your name, shows you that i care.
but.
you assume i "have" to know your name.
so.
things will be fake. stupid fake conversation.
now i dont even laugh at their "fake" jokes.
(sorry if that was weird)
estimations
5 years
multiplied by 25 hours a week (assumed)
is 6500 hours that i have given to starbucks.
in that time i have:
seen one customer get married and divorced
seen one customer give birth to three kids
seen many customers get married
seen many customers date eachother
seen many customers date employees
worked under 5 district managers
worked under 4 store managers
had over 25 assistant managers
called the police about 20 times
kicked out about 6 people
kicked out one guy twice
gotten time off to go to china, europe (twice), hawaii, mexico, and many smaller trips
worked with over 100 people
seen about 6 employees come back to the store after a long absence
changed churches
changed housing
changed schools
gotten about 8 haircuts
gotten a new car
(and put 52000 miles on it)
stayed in the same building.
behind the same counter.
looking at the same cracks in the wall.
seeing the same faces.
but there is still this degree of "fake".
like.
i know you so well because i can make your latte.
and.
you know me so well because i can make your latte.
but.
we've done this for so long.
and.
i made a mild attempt by asking your name.
but.
that was the end, 1 year ago.
or.
that was the end, 2 years ago.
or.
that was the end, 3 years ago.
or.
that was the end, 4 years ago.
or.
that was the end, 5 years ago.
but.
i feel that giving my name out is a sign of trust.
or a sign of truth.
like.
the fact that you care about my name shows me that you care.
and.
the fact that i know your name, shows you that i care.
but.
you assume i "have" to know your name.
so.
things will be fake. stupid fake conversation.
now i dont even laugh at their "fake" jokes.
(sorry if that was weird)
artisan initiatives
on november 4th in sf go to the 111 minna gallery from 4:30-8:00.
why?
also on october 21st in sf go to the fillmore from 8:00-midnight.
why?
hawaiian cynics in london
the hawaiian shirt epidemic
its not that i fear them, its just i dont get them. they are "casual" wear, but they are still button ups. and the shirts are cut straight at the bottom. the patterns are weird. i cant picture any true hawaiian wearing one. they are novelty. it is what makes hawaiians money. but anyway, i feel that if i walk into a place (restaurant, gym, bar, store........and so on) and at least 1/6 of the population is dressed in hawaiian shirts, i lose my comfort. im being honest. i dont know the exact percentage, but there is a point where i can deal with it, and then there is a point where it stresses me out. help me find the line.
the cynicism epidemic
ive always been pretty cynical about lots of stuff. as you can read above. i realized that im at this point where there is no adventure in things. there is no hope really. or it seems much more bleak than i would want it to be. all because i go into everything with the mindset that something must be wrong or i find faults before i find anything else. this may explain why i enjoy movies that others do not and many other things about me.
the britons epidemic
this "summer" was great. i went to europe. but i had an equal amount of fun with the britons that came out here. it was exciting showing them around. it made me look at my surroundings with new eyes again. with non cynical eyes. examples being:
emily smiling about seeing lexington reservoir
simon happy about eating pumpkin products/mountain dew
sammy laughing about us not using the metro
dominic going to an electro-bootie-house show with us
ashley so excited to wear a foam hand at a baseball game
i just feel that everything is so new to them, and we got to show them around for bits and it was the best. it made me appreciate so much more. it made me understand that we do have culture here, and they see it just as we see their culture overseas. im pretty sure i want to spend my days in the bay area showing foreigners around.
im blogging at 545am
first off. the red room in santa cruz is still one of the best places on earth.
secondly. the new album by Brazilian Girls is up there.
Brazilian Girls - All About Us
killing yourself to live
i have been reading 'killing yourself to live' by chuck klosterman and here is an excerpt that i love. it goes along with my non-fascination with celebrities and celebrity status.
This is how popular culture works: you allow yourself to be convinced you're sharing a reality that doesn't exist. Every summer, Hollywood movie studios convince millions of people to see blockbuster movies they know they're going to hate. Every day, shows like Access Hollywood force 2 million housewives to ask themselves, "who really cares who Lindsay Lohan is dating?" And you know what the answer to that question is? Almost no one. There are very few Americans who honestly care who Linsday Lohan is dating. But it's still information they need to have. This is because those people care about something else entirely; they're worried about the possibility of everyone else understanding something that they're missing. This is what they're afraid of, and this is how they deduce societal truth."
-chuck klosterman
banksy again
he went to disneyland, and put a figure of a guantanamo bay detainee with shakles and hood over his face, right next to big thunder mountain railroad.
visual attraction
as days go on, i become more attracted to these:
phil will probably be the only person that reads this that cares.
october 19
i was way off about me turning 5 in starbucks years. its october 19th. and im thinking a big party will follow.
c/k
yesterday was the day of cats
anniversary
starbucks turns 35 this year. ive worked with the company for 5 years. or 1/7 of their existence. i dont like that. that thought combined with work tonight made me not want to come back. those thoughts plus the thoughts of people in london and the beauty of zurich made me want to take off. so my plans entail much change. i think im ready.
in other news. why is FIT in new york and not in san jose.
i do this a lot
but im so excited about seeing matthew herbert tomorrow night. this is what it will be like. him plus full band.
