ginger ale, and thanks

im reading this book - actually i read it already - called sex, drugs and cocoa puffs. in it the author, chuck klosterman, has these 23 questions he asks everyone in order to decide if he can really love them. im going to write a few and you all should respond.

5.you meet your soul mate. however, there is a catch: every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: you must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear - for the rest of your life - sound as if it is being performed by the band alice in chains. when you hear creedence clearwater revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by alice in chains. if you see radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like its being covered by alice in chains. when you hear a commercial jingle on tv, it will sound like alice in chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased alice vocalist layne staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). would you swallow the pill?

8.you meet the perfect person. romantically, this person is ideal: you find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. however, they have one quirk: this individual is obsessed with jim henson's gothic puppet fantast: the dark crystal. beyond watching it on dvd at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with dark crystal references, uses dark crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy". would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

i want answers