the netherlands

it starts in prague on thursday night:
we get some drinks and head onto the bridge to relax. picture time. we get a local to take it. karel. he takes it, we talk, he ends up buying us drinks at his pub and we talk for a long time. 430 am was bedtime. we wake up at 940 to our "temporary landlord" telling us we have to check out by 10. no showers. we go all day in the heat and rain (weird) until 10 at night when we have a night train to catch to take us to frankfurt germany. the train has no bed cars. just seats. it ends up being katherine, ryan and me and two other unknowns. sleep was bad. i think i had about 15-30 minutes total. being awakened by german guards or ticket inspectors. 2 nights little sleep. next train. frankfurt to amsterdam. not having reserved seating we end up having to keep moving around the train to accomodate the people that actually paid. (weird.) so no sleep really. we get to amsterdam a few hours ago expecting to sleep in a hotel with a shower and clean sheets and love and everything so majestic and rich and pure. everything in town is booked pretty much and here we are. we find one place in a beautiful part of town, along a canal with cafes all around and it is grand and glorious, but they had room for 3. we have 7. 4 short. sucks. so we go through the ideal arrangements it would be for a group of four verses three. it would either be the three singles and the two couples. or the three girls and four guys. we became sexist, but im ok with that. part 18: we have to find a place, we look in hotels, thinking that we might spend a good amount. nothing. booked. but wait some guy wants to help us out. how nice. for a better deal. with showers and love and splendor and majesty (in our ears and minds.) and we enter and it is smelly and used and worn and dirty and uncomfortable and disturbing and tough and hard and cold and slightly threatening. amidst a city built on disturbing morals. i love the canals and the cafes and the history and the everything, but i had the amsterdam that we have been given. there are bros smiling with maps to the red light district, there are girls on the corners. i hate this stuff. the guy at the internet cafe that i am at now is looking at soft core. why? i want to be enywhere else. just along the canals and cafes and glory and wonder and awe and beauty and liveliness. i want to see old dutch couples walk down by the canal and smile at each other. can we do that. do i have to be emersed in this hellish apartment with dirt and grime and cold and hate and sex and unknown. im willing to pay equivelant to $100 american to get a hotel with splendor and hominess and comfort and sleep and nice and great. but its becoming hard. tonight will suck, honestly. its in my mind. im ready to go to bruseels tomorrow. but i love amsterdam, i just dont want to deal with it. i want amsterdam to be the image of the canals and history and cafes and love. i hate being separated by a mile from the others in the group. how do they feel. are they happy. they should be. off to watch football and go crazy.
(sorry about the overzealous and repetative and unknown rant)